FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS
i hate it when
there’s like a feeling in your gut that something is very wrong and the feeling is so strong that it makes you feel physically ill but the problem is that there’s actually nothing wrong so you don’t know what to do
and the feeling just doesn’t go away
OH MY GOD OTHER PEOPLE GET THIS
what if you have a soul mate and thats what happens
when theyre in trouble
Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5/10 and you’re a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting
monkeys are better parents than white people
"Get yo lil ass back here and siddown somewhere"
Momma ain’t even have to move or look side ways good to snatch that baby up.
Friendly reminder that anti-cheating is pro-slut shaming (◕‿◕✿)
one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee
some guy just knocked on my door and said “ben?” last time i checked i am not a ben
he just did it again and i had a moment of self doubt like
maybe i am ben
i almost got arrested when i was 7 because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kid’s parents found it and they thought it was cocaine so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a 7 year old girl had created an underground drug distributing system
I wish dates didn’t have such strong romantic attachment to them.
Like, I wish I could go up to a friend of mine and be like, “Hey I want to take you to a nice restaurant. Let’s get dressed up fancy and go.”
We’d go have a fancyass dinner, but there’d be no romantic involvement.
I wish platonic dates were a common thing.
I would take each and every one of you on platonic dates.
????? It’ S cALLED??? SPENDING TIME??? WITH A FRIEND??
im in the mood to receive a check for six hundred thousand dollars